Christian Nightmares Production Reel

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Bill Donahue Melts Down

ZOMG! In less than five minutes, Catholic League mental case Bill Donahue hits on every viciously anti-gay lie in the religious right's arsenal. Polygamy, procreation, incest, and even some wild shit about prongs and sockets. SRSLY. Huge huge kudos to the show's host for firing back at every bit of Donahue's batshittery.

Crazy Eyes Loves Serial Killer

Michele Bachmann: "Well, what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too." Unfortunately for the perpetually fact-challenged Crazy Eyes, the John Wayne who lived in Waterloo, Iowa was infamous serial killer John Wayne GACY. The famed actor was born in Winterset, Iowa, a three-hour drive away from Waterloo.

Crazy Eyes Makes It Official

Pat Robertson: God Will Destroy America For Allowing Same-Sex Marriage

Crazy Eyes: It's OK For States To Have Gay Marriage, But As President I'll Repeal It

The Bizarro Logic Of NY Sen. Ruben Diaz

From a just-published interview with Steven Thrasher at the Village Voice:

All right, let me ask you about this. You believe marriage is between one man and one woman, yes?

Yes [laughing] So? Why are you asking me this? You know that, you know what I believe. Why are you calling me? Marriage is between a man and a woman.

But you yourself have been married twice, and are divorced.

Yes. So?

So do you believe it is alright to be divorced?

No. Divorce is wrong. Gay marriage is wrong.

You think you are wrong, then?

When I got divorced, I was wrong, yes. Why are you asking me this?

But you believe that gay marriage is wrong and divorce is wrong, but that you should be allowed to get divorced and remarried, and gay people shouldn't be able to marry at all.

When I got divorced, it was wrong, but marriage is between a man and a woman.

So is being divorced OK with your religion?

No, it is not OK. Gay marriage is still wrong. This is what I believe.

You may recall that Sen. "Reverend" Diaz once grandiosely declared, "I am the the church AND the state."

FLASHBACK: Crazy Eyes Spies On Gays

Buzzfeed reminds us of the incident in which then state legislator Michele Bachmann squatted down in some bushes to spy on an LGBT rights rally in Minneapolis. Bachmann later claimed she wasn't hiding, she was "resting her heels."

Rolling Stone On Crazy Eyes

From an extensive Rolling Stone profile by Matt Taibbi:

Bachmann's entire political career has followed this exact same pattern of God-speaks-directly-to-me fundamentalism mixed with pathological, relentless, conscienceless lying. She's not a liar in the traditional way of politicians, who tend to lie dully, usefully and (they hope) believably, often with the aim of courting competing demographics at the same time. That's not what Bachmann's thing is. Bachmann lies because she can't help it, because it's a built-in component of both her genetics and her ideology. She is at once the most entertaining and the most dangerous kind of liar, a turbocharged cross between a born bullshit artist and a religious fanatic, for whom lying to the infidel is a kind of holy duty.

Definitely read the full article.

(Tipped by JMG reader Justin)

Red-Caped Anti-Gay Catholic Loons Bring Their Hate Campaign To New York City

Rick Joyner: History Textbooks Have Replaced Founding Fathers With Muslims

There's zero proof of this, of course, but it scares well with Joyner's huge mentally-slow audience.

Satan Loves Acting

From The Mind Of Crazy Eyes

More insanity here.

Penises! Everywhere! Part 3!

Christianity Changes Your DNA

Literally, apparently.

Quote Of The Day - Joseph Farah

"Bible prophecy may have a bad name in the light of Harold Camping's misguided date-setting, but the biggest sign of the end may have been overlooked in all the rapture hysteria of the May 21st weekend. Once again, we saw the U.S. hit with a series of deadly superstorms following Barack Obama's pledge to return Israel to pre-1967 borders. Just days after Obama insisted Israel must give up lands it won through military victory with its enemies, some 200 people were killed by a tornado in Joplin, Mo. There's a pattern here. We saw it in Katrina, when George Bush forced Israel's withdrawal from Gaza. In fact, as everyone from Israeli rabbis to U.S. senators have noted, it seems to happen every single time the U.S. pressures Israel to divide the land." - World Net Daily founder Joseph Farah, saying that Obama caused the Joplin tornadoes.

Crazy Eyes' Unrivaled Extremism

Crazy Eyes: Horrible Lesbian Activists Held Me In The Ladies Room Against My Will!

Today the Daily Beast reports on a 2005 incident in which Michele Bachmann called the police when lesbian activists spoke to her in a ladies room.

A few dozen people showed up at the town hall for the April 9 event, and Bachmann greeted them warmly. But when, during the question and answer session, the topic turned to same-sex marriage, Bachmann ended the meeting 20 minutes early and rushed to the bathroom. Hoping to speak to her, Arnold and another middle-aged woman, a former nun, followed her. As Bachmann washed her hands and Arnold looked on, the ex-nun tried to talk to her about theology. Suddenly, after less than a minute, Bachmann let out a shriek. "Help!" she screamed. "Help! I'm being held against my will!"

Arnold, who is just over 5 feet tall, was stunned, and hurried to open the door. Bachmann bolted out and fled, crying, to an SUV outside. Then she called the police, saying, according to the police report, that she was "absolutely terrified and has never been that terrorized before as she had no idea what those two women were going to do to her." The Washington County attorney, however, declined to press charges, writing in a memo, "It seems clear from the statements given by both women that they simply wanted to discuss certain issues further with Ms. Bachmann."

As the above-linked story notes, just before Bachmann's ladies room encounter, she'd been exposed by the local press for hiding in the bushes (with a bodyguard) to observe a gay rights rally at the Minnesota capitol building.

Penises Are Everywhere, Part 2

Harold Camping Suffers Stroke

Infamous rapture proponent Harold Camping has had a stroke.

The radio preacher who sparked an international media frenzy by predicting the end of the world last month has suffered a stroke. Harold Camping was rushed to hospital from his Alameda, California home on Thursday night. The 89-year-old has survived the stroke - but there are fears that the gravelly, famous voice he used to make his predictions to millions around the world will never be the same.