Liberty University Choir Covers Gregory Brothers' The Bed Intruder Song

The weekend the choir at the Jerry Fawell-founded Liberty University covered The Bed Intruder Song as part of their holiday program. Bee-zarre. Aside from the oddity of a Christian university covering a song in which an openly gay man complains about the attempted rape of his sister, they actually do a pretty funny job of it. However, note the replacement of "raping" with "taking." And don't even try to tell me that conductor isn't family.

Strange Turn In Harvard Urine Case

Yesterday it was reported that dozens of books in the LGBT section of a Harvard library were destroyed by a vandal who soaked the books in human urine. Today Harvard police say the incident was an accident and not an anti-gay act. Somehow that bottle of piss just happened to be there on that shelf of gay books and got knocked over.

Upon an investigation by HUPD, it was revealed Monday morning that "our own library personnel" had accidentally spilled a bottle, containing what was reported to be urine, that had been found on the shelf, according to Hammonds. Harvard College Library plans to replace all 36 damaged books as soon as possible, she added. "I believe this is an important new fact in the investigation and warrants my sharing it with you immediately. While we should not minimize the seriousness of this incident, HUPD is no longer classifying this incident as a hate crime," Hammonds wrote in her statement.

Some people aren't buying the story. One student leader says, "On the one hand, I feel relieved by the news—but on the other hand, I’m still holding breath on questions that are still unresolved. Why was there a bottle of urine on the shelf? Why did it take two weeks for library or HUPD to figure out that this was just an accident? Did someone suddenly come forward?"

Klaxons - Twin Flames

The Human Centipede meets Slither. Very super NSFW and beyond creepy. If this disappears from YouTube, Buzzfeed is hosting a copy.

He's A Hoopy Frood Who Really Knows Where His Towel Is (And Has Been)

This is actually an ad for this nonsensical product. NSFW.

Does This Mean The TSA Is Going To Start Asking Us To Remove Our Faces?

CNN reports that a passenger boarded a Hong Kong flight bound for Canada looking like an elderly white man, but after take-off he returned from the plane's restroom as himself, a young Asian man. It's all very Mission: Impossible.

The incident occurred on October 29 on Air Canada flight AC018 to Vancouver originating in Hong Kong. An intelligence alert from the Canada Border Services Agency describes the incident as an "unbelievable case of concealment." "Information was received from Air Canada Corporate Security regarding a possible impostor on a flight originating from Hong Kong," the alert says. "The passenger in question was observed at the beginning of the flight to be an elderly Caucasian male who appeared to have young looking hands. During the flight the subject attended the washroom and emerged an Asian looking male that appeared to be in his early 20s." After landing in Canada, Border Services Officers (BSOs) escorted the man off the plane where he "proceeded to make a claim for refugee protection," the alert says.

Reportedly the impostor got on the plane with the boarding pass of another booked passenger, an American who is only 55 years old.

Pag - The Lady Is Dead

This clip has been on YouTube for a few weeks, but it's too hypnotically strange and beautiful not to pass along. Very Matthew Barney's Cremaster Cycle. The music sounds exactly like Antony & The Johnsons to me, but it's the Irrepressibles. Possibly NSFW.

Bjork - The Comet Chase Song

Released today on iTunes, all proceeds to Pakistan.

The Love Of Jeebus Is Better Than A Bone

You totally have to wait for the howl-lelujahs.

Personal Mobility

Motorized gyroscopically balanced unicycles. For when the Segway isn't dorky enough.

(Tipped by JMG reader Merv)

Today In Islamic Fatwas

An Islamic cleric in Saudi Arabia has issued one of the most bizarre fatwas yet. Via Salon:

As many of us know, women and men in Saudi Arabia must be careful not to mingle, as the insanely strict Islamic law bans mixing between the sexes who are not related. Recently, the Saudis have issued a fatwa that forces women who come into contact with unrelated men on a regular basis to breastfeed them so that they can be considered “relatives” and not potential lovers. The strangest part is, this isn’t the actual issue at hand. The issue is, how do the men get the milk? I know, it just gets weirder.

According to the Gulf News, Sheikh Al Obeikan, a consultant to the Ministry of Justice and an adviser to the royal court stated, “the man should take the milk, but not directly from the breast of the woman. He should drink it and then becomes a relative of the family, a fact that allows him to come in contact with the woman without breaking Islam’s rules about mixing.” This fatwa applies to men who regularly come into contact with the same woman, or men who live in the same house with a woman. The woman has to pump her breast milk into a glass and give it to the unrelated male. Doesn’t that sound appetizing?

According to the story, Islamic women often breastfeed their nephews too, so that they and their daughters can be in the same room once they grow up. It makes them "breast milk siblings."

(Via - Dan Savage)

Cash For Gold, Abu Dhabi Style

While desperate American mail their gold jewelery to corporate scamsters in return for cash, a hotel in Abu Dhabi has installed an ATM machine that dispenses tiny gold bars when you feed it money. Because there's so little conspicuous consumption in the region.

(Tipped by JMG reader JM)

Easy Eternal Rider

At the request of the family of the deceased, a funeral home in Puerto Rico posed the embalmed body of a motorcycle enthusiast astride his favorite ride. Beyond creepy.

(Tipped by JMG reader Chris)

Family Feud Contestant Disses Ellen

Ellen DeGeneres had her own category on a recent episode of Family Feud. "Name something that everybody knows about Ellen." The contestant family's patriarch stunned all with his response.