Sen. Ruben Douchebag: I Made History

"The problem with the Christian movement, with the Christians and pastors, is that they pray too much and act too little. Pastors and religious leaders are supposed to remember that we are supposed to be Christians before being Democrats or being Republicans. Our responsibility is with Jesus and not with Democratic Party or Republican Party. I made history. I'm the only New York State Democrat that voted against the bill. I will wear it as a badge of honor." - NY Sen. Ruben Diaz, interviewed by the Christian Post. The article concludes with Diaz declaring that gay marriage will hasten the End Times.

RELATED: Diaz says he will go to Buffalo to campaign against GOP Sen. Mark Grisanti, who voted in favor of same-sex marriage.

NOM Celebrates 2010

Darth Cheney Leaves Hospital

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was released from the hospital yesterday one month after being fitted fitted with a heart pump called a ventricular assist device.

The battery-powered pump is mainly used for short periods by a heart transplant candidate awaiting a donor organ. Such devices are being studied for use by people with severe heart failure who aren't candidates for transplants. The pump relieves pressure on the heart by rerouting blood. Cheney said last month that he chose the surgical procedure after testing and consultation with doctors.

The machine leaves patients with no discernible pulse or heartbeat. Have all the "undead" jokes already been made?